The Story of the Day

At 13:00 hours, the first ball of the 2024 Grimbleford was struck, or would have been if Neil hadn't still been in conversation with the starter, presumably discussing rules, techniques and other startery stuff. Arriving at the tee however, he calmly struck a fine shot down the middle of the fairway. Concerned looks all round as we pondered whether we might as well call it a day on our hopes of victory there and then. But, as Jess found out to her dismay, one must carry on regardless, and "can I stop now" is not acceptable golf parlance unless you are struck by lightning. So Rick followed with a low bendy one and Sam a short scuff to set the tone for the first group.

I would like to report that the beautiful surroundings, perfect course and weather conditions were reflected in equally impressive golf. But I can't. Hampered by slightly irritating features like bunkers located precisely where you don't want them and lots of long rough bordering the fairways, the course challenged those allergic to sand and thick grass. Balls disappeared with such regularity that the special balls of the day were soon put away in a safe place, so they could experience being hit more than once.  Sam was having a particularly tough day off the tee and in the rough, keeping remarkably calm considering he was in the throws of his worst ever round. If the rough and fairway had been transposed, he'd probably have won, but they weren't.

Neil and Rick were equal to each other for two holes, but then Rick decided to try out Sam's rough and Neil threw in a three pointer. This proved to be a turning point leading to him rather unfairly playing confident and consistent golf, something Sam and I didn't have in our locker. What was going on behind in the alkies group is hard to ascertain, the only clues emerging when we met, Livingstone and Stanley like, wandering around in Sam's rough. I can surmise however that there was not too much high end golf going on given the scores finally submitted, except perhaps from Jess "can I stop now" Hollis. Thank heavens you didn't.

With golf balls running out and Neil's golfing heels disappearing into the distance, I turned my mind to the lovely venue that really was a beautiful walk with or without golf. Fallow deer, rabbits, hares, birds of prey and to cap it off a really nice bar when it was all over. Points continued to be won and lost; Sam, continuing to own the rough, doubled his score; Neil went into a ditch and a bunker to experience what the rest of us were doing, but the momentum was with him. On his 70th Birthday eve, would this be "the very popular victory" that would engender enthusiasm that his other popular victories hadn't?. We almost hoped so.

So to the end of the round. Hopes (and Jack's golf ball) were eroded, bags were lighter and ball free in Sam's case; and Jess didn't stop, despite repeated requests to be allowed to do so.

What could be taken from observations and tales from the past few hours and who might be in contention. Neil, Worryingly calm and I suspected already working on a victory speech. Rick, a mixed bag as usual, summed up by a drive entering a pond concurrently with Sam acclaiming it as "your best shot of the day". Enty, an entirely unhelpful wedding, a late night and a crazy handicap made winning the trophy he wasn't allowed to win impossible. What do you do if you play off one and go into such penal rough .. pick up apparently. (except you Jess ..) Sam, long grass, incorrectly located fairways and a dodgy grip were not his friends. On a positive front, that's the worst round of his life out of the way, so onwards and upwards, particularly as the rough is typically sideways and downwards,   Jack, I'm  going to guess as mixed a bag as ever particularly given his fun with bunkers experience, which will be addressed further. Ally, I'm going to guess, steady as ever with a few flaws on the bunker wall and putting front. Presumptuous maybe .. or is it? Jess, what to say about someone who considers golf too long, too slow and lacking in tackling. Given her coining the phrase "can I stop now" I had a sneaking suspicion she probably beat most of us, whilst only wanting to play 9 holes and pick up on 3 of them. It's lovely to have you back after missing last year, just think how good you could be if you embraced, let's say 12 or more holes?

The Winners

Everyone was a winner, but some won more than others.

• Grimbleford Champion 2024 - congratulations to Neil (aged 69 and 364 days) on, yes I'll say it, a very popular victory.
• Wally shot - Jack for countless attempts at a bunker shot, the sand eroding the ball on every attempt, a show that was only ended by a hand wedge, commonly known as a chuck, into another bunker. Magnificent effort in true Grimbleford tradition cemented by a pathetic attempt to argue a case that it wasn't the Wallly shot.
• Endurance award - Sam for never invoking Jess's law of "can I stop now" when under extreme duress and grass.
• Being there award - Enty impressive to continue turning up at a such a minor Major, but after such a late night? Rather defies logic, but great that you did.
• Statement of the Day - Jess I have no doubt that you will be regularly reminded of your "can I stop now" approach to golf, now added to the Grimbleford dictionary.

Thank you to Ally for organising the seriously lovely course. The bar is set rather high for Neil next year. Thank you to the major travellers for making it an international event of such note. And thank you to Margaret for again feeding and looking after us over the extended Grimbleford weekend. As noted Margaret only came last in the Grimbleford by 4 points, despite not even playing.

Until next year.