The 4 ball groups were decided. Enty, Neil, Jack and Rick off first. Dan, Ally, Jess and Sam off second. Greasy hands were cleaned; green fees paid; water bought by the gallon and Lucy got her buggy. Whether she'd get lost on the course, only time would tell, but we wished her well as she drove Dan off possibly to remove one player from the competition. A passing stranger took a photo without any knowledge of the history he was now a small part of nor the drama that was about to unfold.

Jack stood on the tee and lashed his ball, the club a blur as the ball disappeared safely up the hill. Neil, the holder, a safe tonk up the slope. Rick, as surprised as anyone, a straight drive, the first of very few. Enty, an almighty blow observed by Jack to "be well beyond the trouble" that Enty eventually found himself in. And so began the competition. Enty blowing all his handicap on the first hole swiping at a ball held in mid air by vegetation on the side of a ditch; Jack's swing progressively speeding up hole by hole until it was possibly operating in a parallel dimension; Rick, never quite finding the fairway to his liking; and Neil steady off the tee, but the short game that served so well last time clearly left at home. Was this the final golfing straw that broke the golfing camel's back?

In the second four ball Dan and Ally were beginning to realise that the amateurs with higher handicaps were quite capable of knocking off a few pars, gathering a gazillion points and then having a few holes off for good performance. Jess started magnificently and looked a shoe in to win until her one weakness emerged. "I'm not really that keen on golf, it's too slow and there's no running around". So Jess slowly fell back to the pack, possibly through boredom, but could she throw away such a lead? Meanwhile Sam, against his better judgement, was beginning to hit too straight even when on the wrong fairway and was gathering a few 4 pointers. Worrying for Dan and Ally, both playing very steadily on a strange, new course making light of the springy download turf. Perhaps inexperience was the amateurs’ secret advantage, as every course is new and strange and who gives a fig about springy download turf? Throughout all the drama, Lucy and her buggy shuttled Dan around without getting lost, so any hopes of the competition being eased to only 6 potential winners were dashed. Dan possibly benefitted on an extremely hot day, but more importantly, with no cheesy chips to fill her time, the buggy stopped Lucy getting bored for almost 30 minutes.

And so it unfolded. Enty and Dan hitting the ball miles creating eagle and birdie chances on occasions, but also a few second shots from the unexplored wilderness not accessible to mortals. Rick, suffered a minor migraine on the 9th hole which resulted in him seeing two balls to hit. Strangely, his putting improved, but a Paracetamol drug infusion along with Lucozade donations from playing partners soon reduced his choice of balls back to one and putting returned to normal. Jack was by now swinging so fast there was nothing to see, just a crack as the ball was stuck and an occasional cry of “backspin, backspin!” to a ball that didn’t care, before taking up his finishing stance on one leg with club dangling from his left hand. Very Jethro Tull. (sorry you have to be old to understand) Neil still very consistent, a great shame really as he needed to start playing better. Ally closing in on Jess as experience and an actual liking for golf possibly started to play their part.

With the 18th hole, possibly a clincher, Jack, Neil, Enty, Ally were all in the deep green side grass bunkers. Rick, Dan and Sam, good finishing drives just over the back of the green, albeit slightly tarnished when Sam played his final trump card and chipped the ball over the green again into the grass bunker where the others went. Jess to the side of the green, hiding her boredom well as she chipped and single putted. So there it was, the finishing hole. Dan a 3. Jess a 3. Rick a 4. Sam a 4 ... or was one of the scores misrecorded?